How to Build Self Confidence

I wanted to change the feel of Moller Marketing today .  Self Confidence is one of the big keys to success in any endeavor.  I’m sure most of us have heard the story about the little train that could. This train was famous for breaking paradigms, not giving up, and using his self confidence to make it over a huge hill. The simple phrase, “I think I can, I think I can” took him to a place he’d never been before.

As we start new businesses on and offline, we have to have that same attitude and perspective.  It’s not “if” this is going to work, it’s “when” and “how much”.  Some may already have self confidence at a certain level; like anything, we can always improve.  Here are a few ideas that can help us all build more self confidence:

  1. Be Positive! You may not always feel positive but you have to focus on the best things that are happening.  There’s no room for negativity if you want to be as successful as you have potential to be.
  2. Smile when you look in the mirror.  Many studies have been done about the “facial feedback theory”.  Conclusions have been made that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. If we look in the mirror and smile every day, we’ll feel happier and be more confident in the long run.
  3. Be Thankful! If you acknowledge and appreciate what you do have, it’s easier to fight off feelings of being inadequate, unsatisfied, or incomplete. Recognizing and being grateful for what you have will bring inner peace that will help boost self confidence.
  4. Identify your successes.  Keep them written down; review them often; we’re all good at something, so discover the things you excel at and focus on your talents. Give yourself credit for the success you are seeing.  Feeling inferior is a state of mind. Remember, the “Small Success leads to Big Success!”
  5. Surround yourself with positive people. Peer pressure has effects on everyone, not just youth. If we’re around people that are always talking bad about their life, their situation – we’ll probably tend to fall in to that pit too.

Some other things you can do that have helped include exercise, set specific short and long term goals, go for a hike or drive in the wilderness, invest in some new clothing and give away the old: looking sharp and feeling successful can go hand in hand.  Remember, you can do this!

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14 Replies to “How to Build Self Confidence”

  1. Hi Nate

    The famous quote “Ask and you shall receive” is the reason for gratitude. All we desire in life is already supplied for us, all we have to do is allow it to manifest in our lives. The key point is we have to ask sincerely so our desire becomes a belief. In other words we believe that the object of our desire is already present within our life. It has also been an awakening for me to plan charitable donations, which are a part of gratitude. This is so very important to success.

    I went into the bathroom and smiled in the mirror… and it cracked. haha. It is very true that you fell better when you smile at yourself. Ester and Jerry Hicks, in their books relating their conversations with Abraham, talk about how it is so important to improve the way you feel little by little if that is where you are at. I never really thought about smiling at myself in the mirror and just tried it. It worked! I did feel better about myself instantly.

    I have never kept a written record of my succeses before and doing so now is a revelation to me. I am focused on what has been successful now. This is a very good motivator, because I want more.

    Thank you Nate for all your great tutoring and advice.

  2. These are all great comments. One of my favorite quotes, one I’ll never forget because it was the first date I went on with my wife, is from “Remember the Titans”. One of the leaders on the Titans team said to the other, “Attitude reflect leadership, Captain!” Having a positive attitude is so crucial to the success of any endeavor. Without a positive attitude, how can one be self-motivated to succeed? If you surround yourself with negative people who are always victims, you’ll end up being one too.

    Thanks for all your great insights. As you look back on all the progress you are making, remember how important self confidence has been and always will be in your business success.

  3. If I had listened to virtually everyone around me when I was starting my business thirty years ago, I wouldn’t have done it. The only person who thought I could succeed was me. And I did. And I am still.

    That’s really when I learned how sad some people’s lives are. They’re so sure they can’t do something, whatever it is, that they aren’t even willing to try. I guess they see themselves, their lives, as being controlled by outside forces and events that impact their lives. They cannot seem to believe they can control their own internal forces to overcome the external forces that they believe prevent them from succeeding. These are the people who think that success is a matter of luck.

    Those who believe in luck never succeed and they never seem to understand why. And these sorts of people would never go into a business for themselves because of their fear of failure. It’s sad to see these people settle for a little personal safety rather than attempt to achieve anything. Because seeking only safety in life is also a form of failure, in my opinion.

    I don’t know where my motivation comes from. I’ve always had it and I’ve never thought that I couldn’t do something if I really wanted to. But I have learned one thing. That is, that you really have to want to do something badly in order to succeed at it. It’s hard work, being successful, because no one is successful everyday. No one. So most of the time, it’s a matter of being able to see the big picture of where one is going and how one intends to get there. That is the key to not quiting because of little failures. Little victories and little failures are the way things are. As Robert Townsend, the founder of Avis rental cars, said, “I only have to be right 51% of the time and I’ll succeed.”

    The motivational experts tell us to set goals. That’s the same thing I’m talking about. I call something more like knowing where I’m going. Maybe that’s a vision-thing. The best reason for setting goals or visions or whatever you want to call them, is to create a sort of map for how one is going to get to certain point. If you don’t know where you’re going, then how will you know when you get there? How will you know when you’re off the road that can take you there?

    But all this is definitely seeing your objective or goal. And visualizing yourself attaining it. Apparently, not everyone can visualize, because there are an awfully lot of people without a vision.

    For me, motivation toward eventual success is the ability to see what others can’t. And then to be willing to the things others aren’t willing to do.

    I’ve found also, that if we waste our time listening to others who have never done what we want to do (and likely wouldn’t given the opportunity), and can’t visualize themselves doing so, then we will be constantly dragged-down by the fear of failure. Their fear of failure attitudes are contagious. I make it a point to not spend time with people who don’t want to create something or do something that is of themselves. That comes from inside. Even though they may not intend it, they spread hopelessness like a disease.

  4. Great article, and responses, too. I really agree with the ones about dressing the part. There’s a book called “dressing for success” that points out the different attitudes of people that go hand in hand with how they are dressed and thus, how they perceive themselves.

    The British knew this without reading a book–which is why they always insisted that officers were well-groomed and wearing their clean uniforms with the jackets on AND buttoned all the way up–no matter what small little outpost in Indian they were sent to.

    I’m a naturally happy, positive person–some would probably call me a Pollyanna. But I don’t see any good from being negative and down all the time–especially over things we have no control over. And if we do have control over it, we can always change it for the better.

  5. Another great article! I’ve been too focused on what I didn’t get done each week to stop and realize all that I’ve learned and to appreciate my “small successes”. Just last week I decided that I wasn’t going to “beat myself up” about the things I didn’t have time to finish. I’m just going to continue moving forward and focus on being more positive about what I am accomplishing. It’s too stressful otherwise and how can I teach my girls to be positive about themselves and proud of their accomplishments if they see me stressing myself out with negativity each week. I don’t want to talk myself out of making my business a success. I am always thankful for the blessings in my life–I am now reminded that I am a blessing in others’ lives, as well. Thanks, Nate.

  6. I don’t have much, but maybe more since reading these great comments. I am going to go and “Smile at the mirror”!

  7. Hello Nate,

    When you have self-confidence the world looks at you differently. People are more apt to believe in what you say, trust you and your judgment. Being thankful for what you have is so important because how can you gage where you’ve been without it. As I looked over the files you had me gather I was surprised at what I had done and very “thankful” that you had me do it. For I wouldn’t have know just how far I had come in sales otherwise.
    I believe hold heartedly that “dressing for success” is the only way to go. I dress up and fix myself up everyday as if I was going to a high paying job, and I sit in front of my computer and could be wearing jammies and slippers. But I don’t. A neighbor asked me why I was (what she called ‘dress-up’) and I told her that you never know who may come by and see you and I wanted to be ready. A Chiropractor I once knew in Tucson when I came to him he was always dressed in fine slacks, a beautiful sport shirt and lots of gold jewelry. I asked him why one day and he told me, ” That if you want to be successful and have other people ‘think’ you are ‘that’ successful you must dress the part.” I have been doing it ever sense. Ladies, put your makeup on and fix your hair and bring out the best in yourself so when you DO look in the mirror and smile you have SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT! And for the men, ah well, you know smooth out the jeans and put a nice sport shirt on and don’t forget the fragrance! and if you need some come to my website: http://www.TheSpaPlace.com Have a super day and Live Life every day as if it is your last, because the Law of Attraction will bring you the best if you do.

  8. It is definitely a good article.
    Self confidence is what makes everything we do work, without it we will have a hard time making things work, and they may even not work at all.
    There are many books on the subject, Escaping emotional entrapment, Daniel Rutley, the confindence to be yourself, by Claire Reyner, something should be practiced in order to improve self confidence every day, for without it we can not go far, I know I wouldn’t.

  9. Hey Nate,

    I think your points for achieving self confidence are great! Anyone of those points can hinder your success, your goal or destination that you want to achieve.

    If you don’t surround yourself with positive people, you will definitely fall into the same category as them. You’ll start to think negatively, doubt yourself and what you are doing or trying to do. But on the flip side, if you surround yourself with positive people, you start to think positively. You can set goals for yourself. Don’t let anything bring you down. We all have bad days, you just have to pick yourself up and start a new day. I think in most of our situations, it is a lot easier to be negative than be positive. This is what sets us apart, what sets the winners apart from the losers. Think positive, push on and you will achieve success.

    We should all be thankful for what we have. If you think we are the only ones with problems and life just sucks sometimes, look around you. Look at the world as a whole. There is always somebody that is a lot worse off than us. We cannot take too much for granted, because there is always someone else that is struggling a lot more than we are. I know I am struggling right now to make ends meet but so are a million other people. I am definitely thankful and grateful for what I do have.

    Great article.

  10. Hi Nate,
    Self confidence comes little by little. The more experience you have in doing what it is you’re doing, the more you will gain self confidence. A good attitude goes a long way. You don’t even have to look in the mirror to see a smile. In my work many years on phones, a smile can be heard. Tone of voice can tell you whether a person is happy/smiling, sad, disgusted, angry, etc.

    I liked the Moller mission statement. I’ve never seen one that was as specific. There was no question about where you were headed or what you wanted to accomplish. Enthusiasm, skill, knowledge, immediate application of what you learned, and very hard work helped you stay at the top.

    The blogging article gave an overall look at why people blog. Once you are known its a good way to get new readers and keep those that you already have coming back. If you have links to companies people like or products they want, its an excellent way to get traffic to your site.

    I really learned a lot from the conference call. It made me think about things that we take for granted. The more you put into something the more you’ll achieve. Many times others don’t help you get ahead unless it benefits them. Some test results from a number of years ago showed that I needed help in goal setting. It wasn’t that I couldn’t set a goal. I was stuck because there was nowhere to go. I’ve tried for a while to change things and to exceed in my full-time job. After a while, after getting so many no’s, I got discouraged and ran out of ideas. It frustrated me to see employees with no handicap going ahead. Jobs above me were not doable. The response I got from management was sorry, I don’t know of anything for you I wanted to work from home. I had called on other commercials to make money. Finally I heard the Prosper one and I’m here. Sometimes you have to step way out of your comfort zone to get what you want.
    Unfortunately, when I listened to the conference call, I could relate to Julie. I think I’m where I am because goal setting and follow-up wasn’t done. This is what I have so far: short term goals: Find resources or information, decide on captive audience, find product or suppliers to work with, work on finding workable solution to transportation to get to and from public speaking engagements, check with the tax club to determine tax implications for travel when vehicle is not owned by me. Intermediate goals: Join toast masters, find or start a group of small business owners to network. Long term goals: Be successful with my business to be able to support myself and quit my full time job and take a Dale Carnigie class.

    I hope this wasn’t too long. Talk to you tomorrow for class.
    Laura

  11. I always enjoy reading and hearing advice on self confidence.A person’s own perception of how he looks at his own personal self or his surroundings and his works should always be positive in nature.For good things beget good things .In other words we should always strive to find the positive in our daily lives and they will lead to more and larger achievements.

  12. I’m not sure exactly how you want me to approach “How to Build Self-Confidence.” I have been the source of Staff Development for many years beginning in the mid-1970’s, when I wrote training programs for Indiana State Dept. of Public Welfare in Food Stamps and Medicaid. It was the training I received I would need in in several dicey jobs and situations. I think we all need a self-confidence booster once in awhile and I had read this one feeling like it was one that I needed at the time. — And, you hadn’t even assigned it. God gives us little angels.

    When starting a business, you need to get away from the naysayers because you are going to definitely need positive reinforcement. You can’t cut and run the first time someone or something rains on your parade. You not only can’t say nay to if. If you are really determined, you don’t ask when or how much because that can be an easy cop out, too. But you do have to set reasonable limits.

    I think your self-confidence builders are very good. They are very good for me, especially the no room for negativity.
    My generation was the feel good generation but that did not transfer into jobs until much later. I’m not sure government jobs have even yet heard this premise. Not six years ago for the feds, not currently for the state, and county and city pretty much follow that.
    At least, in Indiana and Texas state jobs. Being a little devilish, my mentor and I for the past 33 years have said smile and be nice to all employees and employers. We are there to work.

    I really didn’t want you to find out that I’m on disability because I had finally come to accept being on disability and know that I may never get back to a normal job — thus, the Internet business. There is a lot to be said about appreciating what I have and what I can do but it also does not define me and keep me trapped.

    Journaling is very important over the passing years, especially when it gets harder on a daily basis and so comes through letters to friends and family. I always keep copies to show me where in life I am. As letters, they may contain a smile or two or a teardrop.

    Surrounding yourself with successful people is easy to do if you pick true friends and business acquaintances. I once had a friend/co-worker willing to give up his job to testify for me against our employer. How can you ask for a better friend? You can’t.

    I like the exercise and buy new clothes.

  13. If your haveing a sluggish day, can’t seem to get motivated? Try dressing for sucess! Get yourself started by dressing like you are going out to the office to work. You’ll be surprised what a difference it can make.

  14. This is a Great Article and I plan to put it into practice right away. I can relate to surrounding ourselves with Positive People since I have NO Patience at all in dealing with Negative Individuals. I thank God, or the Supreme Being, daily for all the Blessings I receive on a daily basis. I am fortunate to have had, Mom passed away in 1999, two wonderful parents who gave me a beautiful childhood and everything within their means. I am a positive and loving individual who thives around positive people!